Luke Garroway

[Mail and e-mail for Luke Garroway/Graymark Books]

For the first time, Luke has Catarina at his place.

He's not expecting it to be a very late night, not when she's still such a new part of Magnus and Alec's lives, but he had insisted they would be just fine alone for a few hours and they have been. For a little while they'd played in the store and Luke had followed her through the stacks of books, keeping a careful eye on her, but letting her explore on her own. This bookstore is his home and this little girl is the newest part of his family and he wants her to feel safe and happy when she's here.

Once they go upstairs, Luke breaks out some of Jack's old toys and books. The books are a little too old for her, but the soft toys aren't, and she reaches immediately for the giraffe Spencer had given Jack not long after he'd officially come to live with them. For a moment Luke's throat is tight, but then Catarina smiles up at him with the giraffe held tightly in her hands and he has to smile back.

The evening goes smoothly, though he hadn't expected anything less. She's a good child and Luke is a good caretaker, and by the time she starts to cry, he already has her bottle ready. They settle on the couch and Luke watches the end of an old movie while Catarina eats. Luke knows he can give her other things, he has some soft bread set aside for her if she ends up wanting it, but she begins to drowse while he's holding her and her bottle and he doesn't see any reason to wake her up. Not when she's so warm against him and when she looks so sweet.

He begins to drowse himself a little and it's the sound of breaking glass that jerks them both from their sleep. Catarina looks startled, but she doesn't cry out, and Luke stands with her still in his arms, then cocks his head and listens.

From the store downstairs, he hears yet more glass breaking, then the sound of a low growl. It's a familiar sound, but one Luke associates with home, and his eyes widen as he tries to convince himself it can't be real. Not here. A Raum demon is too dangerous, not only to Luke, but to the countless other werewolves in this city.

He has almost no time to prepare before the thundering sound of the demon coming up the stairs begins, but he spins and sets Catarina in her playpen, then looks for the nearest weapon. Most of his best weapons are in the case in the store, put there to act as if they're on display, but he had been a Shadowhunter for long enough and he's never gone without some sort of weapon nearby. He vaults over the back of the couch, slams open a cupboard door and drags out a kindjal, then turns again just as the door to the apartment is smashed inward.

The demon looks at him, then looks at Catarina, and Luke doesn't wait for another glance. Raums are poisonous to werewolves, whoever sent it has to know that, but he doesn't care. Magnus and Alec have left him here with their child and he'll sooner die than let this thing get anywhere near her.

He gets a hand and a foot on the back of the couch, then launches himself forward, the kindjal blade slicing through the air as he goes. The demon screams as the blade slices through one thick tentacle and then Luke's body hits him, pushing him hard out the door and they both go tumbling down the stairs and back into the dark store. As they go, Luke slashes over and over and there's blood everywhere, but so long as he's not injured, he's not in any danger.

When they hit the floor, the demon goes skittering away and Luke finds himself in a crouch. His gaze is drawn toward the front window of his store and he groans, realizing he's going to have to replace it for a fourth time. That moment of distraction is all the Raum needs and it throws itself at Luke, wrapping one thick tentacle around his forearm and Luke suddenly howls with pain.

It hurts enough to bring on the change without thought. One moment he's Luke Garroway, making a break for the case where he keeps his weapons and the next he's smashing into the glass with one furry shoulder. His hands are still human enough that he can yank out the Morgenstern blade and he turns and throws it, the dagger buried to the hilt in the Raum's ribs. It screeches and for a second Luke is aware enough to think he ought to grab his crossbow, but then it doesn't matter anymore.

Then he's just the wolf. Snarling in rage, Luke charges, and another tentacle is wrapped around his torso. The poisoned suckers are grabbing him, stabbing into him over and over, but it doesn't matter. It can't matter. Not with Catarina upstairs. Strong jaws lock around the demon's throat and Luke howls in fury, beginning to shake it back and forth, tearing apart skin and bone. His claws sink into slimy skin, tear valleys in the demon's flesh. He's still being stung with the poison tentacles over and over, but he's winning.

He's winning, he has to.

Howling again, loud enough for the neighbours to hear, Luke bites down again.

The first indication that anything had been out of the ordinary had, oddly enough, been the fact that Luke needed his glasses to see the clock when he woke up that morning. It was the full moon that night, his senses should have been at their peak, but as he had rolled out of bed, he'd needed to fumble for his glasses on the bed side table before the room had come into focus and for a long, confused moment, Luke had merely sat there, looking through his glasses at the dresser, the clock, the bedroom door. All of it in focus, but only so long as he had his glasses on.

When he had investigated further, he'd realized he couldn't smell Jack. In fact, he couldn't smell anything. It felt a little like he'd gone blind, robbed of all the senses he was used to relying on, and Luke had finally scrambled into the kitchen, trying all the way there to transform, to turn into a wolf, before he realized he wasn't able to. The scars were still there, claw marks across the left side of his chest, but the infection they'd created, the subsequent disease as so many had called it, that was all gone.

Over the course of the day, he'd called a few people, told them what had happened and bit by bit, he'd learned there were others who were in possession of the powers he'd once had. There's no way of knowing whether or not this would last, no way to be sure what might happen, but Luke does know that if there's someone out there with his powers, he needs to find them. And he needs to do it before the moon rises.

It's a busy day, one he spends all around town, looking for different people. He drops in on friends, tries to work out who might be able to help him, who can track a newly made wolf, someone who might be scared. He puts the word out that he's around, he's able to help, he has a place where the wolf can stay. It may be a long shot, but he has to try.

And by the time the moon rises, Luke has a moment of panic, a moment where he worries that he's made the wrong decision, that he's still going to turn after all. But it doesn't happen. The sky is dark and cold, the moon full and bright, and he stops where he is, stops and just watches it come up.

It's the first full moon he's seen in twenty years. It strikes him then and only then that he's human.

[I tried to set it up so it was realistic that people could find him just about anywhere, be it the park or outside the bookstore or somewhere close to their home. Use whatever works for you! Luke can justifiably be anywhere in Darrow.]

At this point Luke has no doubt Michelle already knows about Reid having left Darrow even without being the one to tell her. Breaking the news to Jack had drained him of his ability to tell almost anyone else and he'd done it where necessary, but for the most part he had tried to let people find out through others. That's one responsibility he just can't shoulder at the moment.

But there are other things he needs to take care of and the most pressing matter at this moment is finding someone willing to stay with Jack on the night of the full moon. Luke knows he could ask Magnus or Alec -- or both of them, really -- and that they would probably be happy to stay, but he often gets the sense that Jack feels secure with Michelle in a way he does with few other people and that's important at a time like this.

Today, rather than asking Michelle to come to him, he's forced himself out. It'll be good for him and he knows it, but that doesn't make it easy. He asks Michelle to meet him at a coffee shop near the store, so at least he can retreat home if he needs to, but he's hoping he won't. They'll have a conversation and he'll be able to get through it without feeling the need to run home and make sure Jack is still here and tomorrow it will be a little bit easier to do the same.

He's early and he knows it, but rather than go inside and sit down, he paces the sidewalk slowly outside of the cafe and he waits for her. The weather is starting to cool off a little, which Luke usually prefers, but now it only reminds him of Reid. Of their wedding in the snow. Their anniversary is coming up in just over two months, but he's doing his best not to think of that. Not yet. That's still coming.

It's been a few weeks now and the days are dragging on, but Luke has buried himself in caring for Jack and making sure he gets through the day to day. While it serves as a decent distraction, it doesn't really make things easier. Nothing but time will do that and Luke knows there's nothing to do in that regard but wait, so he busies himself with Jack, with Magnus and Alec, making sure not to spend too much time alone, but also taking the space when he needs it. He plays with his wedding band more often, twisting it around and around his finger without even realizing he's doing so.

They've gotten through one full moon and for that he's grateful, but there are still so many more ahead, each one more daunting than the last from where he stands at the moment. Eventually those will get easier, too, but they haven't yet and he can't see an end to that in sight. Times like this, he feels like it's utterly unfair, being a werewolf. He shouldn't have to consider this while he grieves, while he cares for Jack and helps him grieve, too.

But there's no undoing it.

For awhile he'd considered closing the store for a few weeks, but it's their only source of income now and so he's back at it. Jack is at school and Luke is alone, but working seems to help in a way few other things do. It's somehow easier to get lost in feeling something other than sadness when it has to do with books and at the sound of the bell over the door, Luke lifts his head with a smile that's only a touch smaller than it might have been the month before.

"Newt," he says, his voice warm. It's good to see a familiar face. "How are you?"

When he realizes what's happened, Luke doesn't have the luxury of burying himself under the pillows that still smell like Spencer Reid and losing himself to sleep, which is the only thing he wants. Not with Jack asleep in his bedroom.

Luke had been up late the night before, as he usually is, never needing as much sleep as the average person, but Reid had gone to bed before him, as was usual. He had stopped by the couch where Luke was working on inventory, had run his fingers through Luke's hair and kissed him goodnight, lingering for a few moments as they laughed and made soft jokes and Luke had promised to come to bed soon.

He'd promised and then he hadn't. Instead he'd gotten distracted trying to work out why it seemed he'd ordered three copies of The Candle of Vision when it was hard enough to find a single copy in Darrow and the time had flown by without him even realizing. Eventually he'd looked up at the clock, found it to be after two and he had known Reid would be asleep already. Wrinkling his nose, feeling bad that he was still out here, Luke had decided not to disturb his husband and had instead worked on the inventory for a little while longer before finally heading into the bedroom.

It hadn't taken him long to figure out something was wrong. Luke was terrible about making the bed, but Reid usually slipped in after he got in the shower and made it for him and it's still made now. Reid is nowhere to be seen, his side of the bed completely undisturbed, his cell phone sitting on the bedside table. Luke goes into the bathroom just to be sure, then looks in on Jack, but Reid isn't in either room. He searches the apartment quietly, then goes down to the store, but the lights are all off and there's no one sitting in the couch by the window.

In a desperate attempt to deny what's happened, Luke even goes into the basement, but it's as it always is. Reid is nowhere.

Luke goes back upstairs and, sitting on Reid's side of the bed, looking directly at his cell phone, he calls his husband. The phone beside him doesn't even ring. There's a recorded message telling him the number is no longer in service, but Luke doesn't really hear it. He drops his phone and instead reaches for Reid's pillow, holding it up to his face so he can smell his husband still there. He sits there for the rest of the night, sits on Reid's side of the bed with his pillow in his lap and when the sun begins to rise and his alarm goes off and the tears have dried, he gets up mechanically and goes to wake Jack.

This is going to be the most horrible thing he's ever had to do.

Although Luke is absolutely the sort to vet any friends Jack makes in Darrow, he feels like that's to be expected and that anyone befriending a young boy, but unwilling to go through the process of impressing and reassuring his foster dads simply aren't the sort he wants hanging around Jack anyway. But once he's decided the people Jack calls his friends are, in fact, people who can be trusted, he doesn't make a habit out of checking in on them. He's careful and he's always aware of who has Jack and when and what time he's going to be home or if he needs to be picked up, but he's not overbearing.

Doing all of this once before has certainly prepared him to be a little more easygoing with Jack than he was with Clary.

Michelle is different, though, because Luke knows Michelle has been through some things of her own. They haven't spent a lot of time talking about it, but given that he's not exactly that forthcoming with his own past and certain secrets, Luke thinks that's more than fair. He would never presume to press someone into talking about things they might not want to acknowledge, but when it comes to Michelle, he knows he likes her well enough and wants her to feel that she could talk to him. If she wanted to.

That, though, requires some honesty on Luke's part. When it comes to being a werewolf, he prefers to tell people instead of having them find out by accident, which has happened more than once in Darrow and he'd very much like to avoid having it happen again. Especially since Jack cares so much for Michelle, he knows this is an awfully bit secret to carry and he'd like for Jack to have one less to keep from her. It just makes sense to tell her and he thinks, even if she's come from somewhere that seems incredibly normal in comparison, she's been in Darrow long enough that a werewolf won't seem too impossible.

So when Michelle comes to drop Jack off after a dinner together, Luke kisses him on the head and tells him to go upstairs to Reid, then smiles over at Michelle.

"Would you mind... could I talk to you for a little?" he asks. "Before you leave."

It doesn't happen often, not in Darrow, but every once in awhile Luke can pick up the scent of an unfamiliar werewolf coming around.

Most of the other werewolves in Darrow are either people he already knows and knows well, or those who simply keep their distance. He knows not all the Downworlders in Darrow are like him and Derek, he knows there's bound to be trouble once in awhile and that's why he's glad for people like Alec and Isabelle, but because his scent is all over the store, most of those who want to cause trouble don't come around here. They know better.

It's interesting to him, but he does tend to keep his distance. After being a pack leader in Idris for such a long time, Luke has a tendency to shy away from other wolves, not because they've done anything wrong, but because the idea of a pack is something he equates with war. Wolves in packs fight for territory, they fight for anything they need to, and Luke is done with that. He's done with war, done with fighting, and he's done with being an alpha.

But at the scent of a wolf he's never met before, he pauses in the midst of his shelving and turns toward the front of the store. Whoever it is, they may not come in here, but the scent is getting stronger and Luke can't pretend he isn't just a little bit interested in who might walk through that door.

Bit by bit Reid heals and so, bit by bit, Luke feels okay leaving him for longer periods of time, tending to the store on his own, helping Jack with his homework, taking him places he needs to go. They seem to be getting back to normal, at least in some ways, and mostly he's just thankful every single day that the accident hadn't been worse. That Reid is still here for him to dote on, to curl up next to at night, to read stories to Jack while Luke looks on from the doorway.

He's in the store now, moving around, dusting the tops of shelves and rearranging books that have found their way into the wrong places. It's not a particularly busy day, but every so often a customer comes in and Luke has helped a few of them find what they're looking for, then sent them happily on their way.

This isn't the life he was supposed to have. He isn't supposed to be a werewolf, he isn't supposed to own a bookstore, he isn't supposed to be married to a man, raising a young boy who ended up in this city, torn away from his family like the rest of them. Luke isn't even supposed to have this name, but he can't imagine himself as anything else. He was never a very good Shadowhunter, too desperate for approval, too weak minded to be a true leader. It had taken being bitten and turned into something else to change him. To make him what he's meant to be.

And so he's happy with this life he isn't supposed to have and he's whistling as he dusts, waiting to hear the tinkling of the bell above his door to let him know someone else has come inside.